Final Fantasy IX: The Rose of May (Kuja's Journals)
by Cpt. Acid Trip and Ms. Sweet T
Summary: A companion fic of "The Rose of May" that explores the early years of Kuja and his time on Terra. What created this villain? What are the events that make up this man? The underlying sorrow and joy that is Kuja? Kuja centric. Zidane will make cameos but will not be a central character. Please R
1. Prologue

Final Fantasy IX: The Rose of May (Kuja's Journals)

Prologue: The Son of Terra

His face peered into the glass of the test tube, fascinated at the prospect of seeing more like him. They were rather crude looking, but he was certain that he looked just as crude when he was in their place. The laboratory was rather quiet, but he preferred the silence as opposed to life in the castle. His father allowed him to remain outside of the castle so long as he came back every evening, though admittedly he was unaware when it was day or night as the planet just seemed so still, so bleak, so... lifeless.

Other than himself and his father, he knew no one else and longed for contact with others. His father instilled him with the knowledge that he would one day bask in the glory of an entire planet's worth of people and they would look to him as their savior, but that would not be now nor would it be soon. For now he had to settle for the knowledge that he would soon have a familial relation with someone other than his father.

The boy's father was not so easy to socialize with either, but the boy loved him with all his heart. He had no reason not to love him as the man gave him life when he didn't need to. His father was a harsh man and felt little need to positively support the boy. But the man kept contact with the boy every day and was a difficult taskmaster, asking much of the boy. Not that the boy minded, for without his father he would have no one on this planet. It was just them alone.

The boy, hands and face pressed against the glass, stared at the closed eyes of someone who looked similar to him. The face wasn't quite constructed right like a half formed art project. He was a little anxious to see how it would feel to talk to someone like him. The other tubes were also filled with others, some with more feminine features and others that were clearly male, but one tube caught his eye. The tube contained a small creature in it, much like the others but significantly smaller. It had minimal hair and was pudgier than the others that his father had created. Maybe the thing was like him? He himself was smaller than the others and every year that passed seemed like he would grow just a little bit. The others already looked fully grown, this thing in the tube appeared to be something special.

What am I? That was the thought that lingered in the boy's mind as he left the laboratory. If the others were already finished products and that's what they would look like forever, then what was he? Were they not the same? They all looked the same to him and they even shared the same qualities that he had. Golden locks of hair, a tail that was as long as his other limbs, a lithe body, and fair skin. These thoughts bothered him as his father looked nothing like what he had created. His father was a towering figure, but all of his hair was on his face and his body was clearly not made of flesh like him. What purpose did he serve? Why did his father bring him into this empty life? Did his father think that his future siblings needed an older figure in their life to guide them into the world?

The boy stopped at the still pond outside of the laboratory, looking at his own reflection. His hair was unlike the others as he had longer tresses of hair and his body was thinner than the others. Perhaps he would fill out when he was older. It didn't seem like a crazy prospect as he was growing all the time. He never took too much time to look into his reflection, but today he inspected his own face a little longer. He understood the concept of aging as his father had impressed upon him that he would grow into a fantastic being capable of doing things that no other could. It was the closest his father would come to praising him and it was also the only time that he felt like family to him.

It was getting late or at least it seemed like he was gone for a long time and the boy decided to venture back into his father's castle. The castle used to terrify the boy when he was a bit younger, but he had grown used to the grotesque monstrosity that filled the hallways of the castle. There were creatures that would venture in and out of the castle and despite them being partially intelligent enough beings that they would avoid the boy, they weren't creatures that could speak or associate with him and his father. When the boy once asked why they had kept the creatures, his father responded that they are there to make him stronger and to protect him from outside danger. It was an answer that never satisfied the boy. Whenever dealing with a question, his father had reminded him that everything was there to make him stronger and more capable.

"You're late Kuja," a loud bellowing voice rang throughout the hallways of the castle.

"I apologize father, but I was just inspecting the other... what are they called?"

"Genomes, you should know this by now boy. You yourself are a genome."

It was a minor reminder that he was also created by this man. Kuja trekked forward as he approached his father's chambers. As he entered, his father stood across the room, far from him with his back turned away. There was no movement and no sound coming from the man, but Kuja knew that his father sensed he was there. There was always a feeling that his father knew wherever Kuja was. Without a word Kuja moved towards his father's side and stood still. It was always like this as he was used to following his father's command. He would eventually receive his father's commands and dutifully perform his tasks without mention.

"Today you are ready to begin your studies."

"Studies?"

Kuja was perplexed, he had done nothing but study since he had been created. His father had impressed upon him basic knowledge of the planet and taught him how to conjure basic spells. None of the spells were particularly useful and his previous combat training that he received offered little use in these spells. Of course, Kuja was under the impression that these moments of training were the only ways that he and his father would be able to connect on anything and it would help him defend himself from the monsters that stalked the halls. It was confusing that he would have any need for it if his father would simply allow these creatures to leave the castle. But alas, maybe his father didn't have the heart to kill them.

It was a thought that Kuja had briefly entertained, but he squashed that theory as his father didn't seem like the sentimental type. His father even found the notion of family ludicrous. He paid no heed to the word father and thought neither positively nor negatively of it, but accepted it as a title that Kuja would call him. He would every now and then correct him by saying that he was less of a father and more a creator.

"You will begin your duties as a son of Terra. This planet is your legacy, a dying planet with it's people kept in an eternal slumber until a vessel suits them."

His father's gaze, stoic as ever, never glanced at Kuja. His chambers overlooked the planet, like a guardian protecting the planet from the imminent destruction that should befall them. His face was devoid of emotion and everything he had said was said as if it was a fact and not just some fanciful soliloquy like the villains from his favorite plays.

"Am... am I a vessel?"

"No. You are a different being. I created you unlike the others. You were built with a soul with the purpose of restoring mother Terra to its former prominence. Unlike the others, you can think, feel, reason, and grow. But you also present weaknesses that the others do not share. While you can think logically like the others, your emotions are also tied into your thought processes. It's the soul that makes you different from the others and makes you this way. It is not something that I can easily get rid of nor shall I. As you are and with my tutelage, Kuja you shall become the greatest Terran and the sacrifices you make now shall pay you in dividends."

"I don't understand, what sacrifices am I making?"

"Unlike your fellow brethren that I am creating, you have were grown from infancy and in this stage you are naught but a child. Your childhood is gone Kuja, you may have noticed that or you may not have but it is gone."

"I have allowed you some leisures to alleviate you of the stress caused from this loss. As you may have noticed, I have allowed you to read those fictional books from that foreign planet and I have taught you the language of their people. This is no mere father acting upon the wishes of a child, but a calculated gambit to help nurture your mind and prepare you for the upcoming events."

It was true that it was strange that his father allowed him to read recreationally since his father saw extraneous activity and hapless leisure as useless. Kuja had never thought much of the subject before, since he had readily accepted the reading material as gifts. He was glad at that time that his father was teaching him how to read the books from the foreign planet, it was one of the few cherished moments that he remembered fondly.

"What events are you talking about, father?"

"Again with this 'father' title. I'm no mere patriarch, but you insist on calling me by that title. I have no need to further explain the falseness of that title, but you shall keep insisting on naming me as such. You duties to this planet Kuja. As I have said earlier, Terra is dying and to insure the survival of our planet we must assimilate the life force of another. This was attempted once before, many ages before I had created you and it failed horribly. Our planet is doomed to die and fade into obscurity, becoming absorbed into the planet Gaia. Your knowledge of the Gaian language is no mere mistake as I have made sure that you would be able to infiltrate the planet and continue with my plans."

"What plans are those?"

"I have planned for you to become my Angel of Death!"

* * *

Ms. Sweet T: This is the beginning of another epic as this story is going to capture Kuja at his most vulnerable... childhood! Long before anyone is a villain, they were children and I wanted to give a look at what turned Kuja into a villain. Obviously Garland created Kuja to be a villain, but what psychological factors and physiological factors steered him into becoming what he is today (or at least into the villain that he will become in my main story). Now the main difference between this story and the main story is that this will not be written in script form. Also, after the prologue you can expect the story to shift into a first-person POV that will be written as if it was a journal as opposed to the first-person omniscient POV. I hope you enjoy this companion fic! :)


	2. Entry I

Final Fantasy IX: The Rose of May (Kuja's Journals)

Entry I: Birthday

This is my first entry into this journal. Father knows nothing about this, but I am sure he will not disapprove. This is for me alone though as a way to record the thoughts of the savior and to let those who read this to know my thought processes and what I had sacrificed to protect them. I won't further delay the writing of this and I feel that my story should be heard. Today, is the anniversary of my birth or creation and today I am ten years of age.

Age. Father had told me that age was an arbitrary word and it was a number given to specify how long one has been alive. It was no special thing to be celebrated as he would say, "should you celebrate every day that you are alive?" He rebuffed my efforts to appreciate me reaching my tenth year, but in the grand scheme of things it was no more special than having a more grandiose dinner with your son. Nary did I think that he would actually agree to it anyways.

It was a silly notion that I dreamt of while reading some of my favorite pieces of literature, particularly those from Lord Avon. Birthdays were always celebrated with such lavish occasion and though Lord Avon was fond of making these celebrations a tragic event, they always upheld that the anniversary of ones birth was significant. Lord Avon was one of my favorite playwrights and he was a popular one on Gaia, having written many sonnets and plays. I always imagined myself in one of his literary works to escape the life that I was currently leading.

The castle life was mundane and other than studying or losing myself into my books, I had nothing to do. At least without father giving me a task, but it was odd that he was ignoring me as of late. I suppose with the rise of the genome population, that father has had an increase in responsibility. But I am his eldest son and that must mean something as he has invested our planet's future in my growth and development. I was unused to not seeing father for more than a day or so. The days seemed to increase that he would disappear into his personal laboratory or library. It was during those times that I saw it fit to traverse to Bran Bal.

Bran Bal was livelier than usual with the addition of my brothers and sisters, but only I seemed to revel in the addition of new life forms. The others were very matter of fact with how life was to them and they accepted their purpose without argument. Whereas I had to be conditioned and prepared to accept my role in the new world and this newly formed society, my siblings had accepted the knowledge of their birth as if they had known their existence amounted to a listless life.

Looking into the eyes of my younger siblings, though older in appearance, was like looking into the eyes of one of the monsters in the castle. I knew they had a mind that was capable of higher thinking, but they chose not to use it... or they couldn't? I am not completely sure how genomes work, but if I am a genome then surely they could be changed for the better.

But was it better? Am I just being selfish? I longed for companionship and conversation with another person of my ilk, but they did not share that same fervor that I did. Father said the difference between the others and me was a soul and that I could grow into a being of greater purpose. But aren't they vessels waiting for a soul too? What is a soul? If I didn't have a soul, would I still be the boy writing into this journal or would I just be another vessel waiting for commands. Does my soul dictate my identity? What if my soul was removed and another took its place? Does that mean I become another person? Does that person have my memories? If that's so, was this soul's name Kuja or was that the name predicated to this body of mine?

It was thoughts like this that upset me greatly. Sometimes I spent my sleeping hours awake pondering these questions. When I am supposed to be listening to my father teach me the basics of weaponry and how to hold them properly, my body would go into this lull. It was like dreaming while I was awake. Going through the motions. My clouded thoughts seemed to anger father as he would always furrow his brow and occasionally if I am deep in thought, I would sustain injuries for being "careless".

I am supposed to be used to pain, but... the stinging sensation is something my body would rather not feel. It is this unlike when I am sleeping or wading into the still pond of Bran Bal. I have only ever experienced pain a few times in my relatively short life and every time was unpleasant. The first time I experienced pain was through wrongly conjured spell. The fire had barely singed my skin, but it was the first time I had felt anything like that. I was unaware of what it was at the time and I didn't realize that tears had sprang forth from my eyes.

Father had chastised me for my weakness, but he was satisfied that I could even conjure the spell in the first place. It was a strange moment of a swelling pride in my chest and a hollow emptiness in his words that caused his downward gaze to make me feel smaller than I already was. It was a reminder that I was not putting enough effort into my studies, but it reaffirmed to father of the talent and potential I had yet to breach.

That was long ago or it seems like that was ages ago. Father has limited my studies and now I'm usually left to my own devises. He will check on me every now and then to make sure I am progressing at an appropriate rate and will interfere if he sees something that is unsatisfactory to him. It has not happened much, but I can hear the disappointment he has in me whenever my studies stall because he has to correct upon my mistakes.

The genomes escaped his scrutiny, though I guess I shouldn't fault them as they were created with specific purposes in mind. All of them were basically mindless husks that shuffled around and did as they were told. Nothing that they were tasked with was particularly difficult and even the genomes that were tasked with tending to the laboratory were given simple chores that amounted to endlessly pushing buttons and observing the state of their future siblings. They didn't smile nor did they seem upset at the lives that they lead.

I was dissatisfied with my way of life, but I was powerless to do anything. Lord Avon's characters ranged widely in personality and motives and age and they loved and hated and lived and killed. It was as foreign a world as any and soon enough I would be joining that world as its angel to cast it into destruction and darkness. My routine lifestyle would disappear and the future would not seem as bleak when the people of Terra paraded me as the prodigal son. People that I have never known would praise me as a guardian angel.

It was unfair, I assume, to rid the stars of Gaia and the people. It did not have to be this way and I wish I could spend my years traveling all over the stars to welcome and to cherish and to understand all life forms. But my people need me and it has to be this way. My birth was predicated on being the savior of this race. A child, a boy no older than ten, an innocent cast into the role of the savior. It was a role that I was unsure i wanted to follow, but it was the role I was created for. It was my purpose in life. Just as my brothers and sisters had accepted their lot in life as the vessels of the newly resurrected, I was to be the catalyst that brought forth this uprise.

Gaia would no sooner know that their murderer had the cherub visage of a young babe. The illusion that these monsters that stalk the halls are to be feared more than me. I was to be feared. It was a strange concept to me. I did not want to be feared by anyone. I just want to talk to someone, anyone at all. My brothers have no words for me other than facts and my sisters do nothing but remind me of my duties. Children in my books were vastly different than what I had imagined and thought to be real. Children were incapable, illiterate, ill behaved, and illogical. They were not berated for their failures and many of them were excused for their incompetence on account of their age. They were coddled and weak.

Would I be this weak if I was born on Gaia? Does the weaknesses of people make them happy? Do they find joy in strength and weaknesses? What is happiness? I pondered all these thoughts as I walked out of the castle and into Bran Bal. My visits to the laboratory were become more infrequent and more often than not I was left with a feeling devoid of what I assumed happiness was. My brethren were not enjoying their place in life, but they were not suffering. I could not make myself love them anymore than I loved my father. I loved them anyways, but it was useless words that they did not appreciate.

There was only one genome that I loved more than my father and that genome was not yet born. That genome was an exciting prospect to me. That genome was the only reason I have ever visited the laboratory at all. It was the same genome that I saw several years ago as a small pudgy creature lying afloat in its test tube. It remained in its tube and father had demanded the progress of this particular genome many times. The creature had grown to become more recognizable by the day and it resembled a small version of me though not as identical to me. He was a unique genome and that was something he and I shared. Perhaps he too will have a soul. The other genomes looked identical to each other in both body and mindset. This genome was tiny compared to the rest of us and maybe his mind would develop like mine. He would truly be a younger brother to me in everything but name and blood.

I entered the lab to check on the progress of my little brother, but was horrified to find a tube replaced with another common genome. It left me saddened that my little brother was gone before I had come to know him. I asked the others what had happened to the genome that was in the tube, but no one would give me an answer to my liking as no one knew his whereabouts. There was this sinking feeling in my stomach, as if someone had jabbed it repeatedly. When one of the genomes was released, the others usually knew every detail of the genome and where they currently located. But this was a first that they were not able to discern any useful information about the missing boy. Did they not feel the same attachment to their little brother?

Were they not tasked with watching him and giving daily updates to father about him? They were unsure of where the missing genome was but they casually waved off the panic that had set into my own being by stating that it is by "Garland's will" that the boy had been missing and that father's will alone determines whether the boy was of importance. If they were to update father about the boy, doesn't that mean the missing genome was of utmost importance? The genomes became unresponsive to that, but they assured that they would search for the boy if father wishes for the boy to be found.

I couldn't believe it, the brother that I had the most attachment to was gone. I raced out of the laboratory, my thoughts and emotions in a frenzy. My eyes burned as I blindly ran with tears streaking down my face. I didn't know where I was running but I wanted to get away from that test tube. I do not recall how long I was running but I had ran long enough that Bran Bal was no long near and where the wild plant life was haphazardly grown unlike those in the village. The brush scraped against my legs and the branches harshly banged against my arms and face.

The only reason that I had stopped my torrid pace was one misplaced step. I fell onto my stomach and ignored the small scrapes that covered my arms and legs and bruises that formed around my face. I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. It was an untouched portion of Terra away from Bran Bal. It was beautiful, different from the mechanized horror of the castle and away from the artificial village. Life was still in this portion of the planet, like a porcelain doll. Unfeeling, beautiful, and lifeless.

There was another pond here that was different from the one in Bran Bal. Whereas Bran Bal's pond was symmetrical, predictably created, and beautiful in its own right this pond had a sort of edge to it. It was still like the other pond, unmoving and unchanged, but it was raggedly asymmetrical as if it was an unplanned but beautiful nonetheless. I crawled over to the pond to look into my reflection as I had done multiple times in Bran Bal. My reflection looked different. I was staring through tear filled eyes and it was like looking into a distorted mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was ruffled and messy, my arms a bloody a mess, my face covered in dirt. It was a satisfying look. I don't know why I appreciated my reflection more than I did in this pond, but it looked like I was staring back at the real me. This sad pitiful creature that I was staring at was really me. I reached in to touch the reflection, but as soon as I touched the pond the image disappeared.

Would I disappear as well? Was this life any better for me than it was for my unknown brother? Maybe he would have been happy if I was there with him. But was it truly terrible that he was gone? He would grow up knowing this empty life just as I had and growing more and more discontent with his place in the ever growing world. The boy could not even take solace in the fact that he would be the savior of Terra. That was a burden placed upon my shoulders and my shoulders alone. Maybe he would grow to resent me. Lord Avon's writings did not lack in envious and vengeful siblings. Perhaps he would also be my undoing. I wonder who that person might have been.

I returned to the castle and though father had scolded me for being reckless and risking all "his hard work" for simple emotion, a small smile was on my face for at least a brief moment I had seen some emotion of worry in my father. Maybe he was worried that the savior of Terra might have been lost forever, but it was an emotion I had yet to see in him. It was a little comforting to know that father worried about my well being, as misguided as that worry may be.

When I was ordered to return to my chambers, I had taken a small candle from my father's studies. It was almost the end of my day of my birth and as silly as this may have been, I was still intent on celebrating it. I had read that it was customary to make a wish on a candle placed on top of a cake, but I neither had the ingredients nor the ability to make a cake and I only had the candle. I placed the candle onto the nightstand near my bed and conjured a small fire. And on that candle and on that wish, proclaimed in my head for my wish to "_have a family and place to call home_". I blew out the small flame as darkness encompassed my chambers. It is a wish that I know one day will be fulfilled. The planet Terra will be my home and my family, but for now it is a lifeless husk of a prison. And for now I can live with that knowledge.

Goodnight,

Kuja Tribal

* * *

Ms. Sweet T: This is the first official entry for Kuja's journals. I don't really have much to add to the end of this author's note other than to note that this will take place between ages 10-16 for the purposes of the story being the most developed during his adolescent years. I pondered about giving Kuja an actual surname or whether to leave him with a mononym, but this story is as much about family that it is about character development. It makes you feel more for the character if he's not just an unknown character with no motives. Well, at least that's how I feel anyways :)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Review please! :)


	3. Entry II

Final Fantasy IX: The Rose of May (Kuja's Journals)

Entry II: To Be a Gaian (Part I)

I suppose I should be grateful for this sudden concession that my father had recently allowed. I have never been outside of my home and the thought of leaving Terra was both terrifying and exciting to me. My fantasies were soon to become reality. Father had deemed it a necessary excursion, claiming that this journey to Gaia would be beneficial for my growth and as an exercise in subterfuge. I was unsure if my plea to venture to Gaia would be met with approval which was why I requested it under the guise of understanding my enemy. I had stiffened at the mere glance of his stoic gaze and the pregnant pause had left me nervous as to whether he'd not only disapprove of my request but punish me for it. His response had caught me unawares for it was the first time that he had approved of anything so I was hesitant to accept that he had actually said what he had said.

Of course, to appease my father, he had carefully laid out instructions and conditions as to how I would proceed with my mission. For the month that I would be staying in Gaia, I would be all alone with very minor provisions other than a small stipend that my father was able to procure and whatever I could carry in the knapsack on my back. I would never reveal who I am and what I was and I was neither to display my magical capabilities nor attempt to disrupt the daily life of the people on Gaia. It was merely an observation mission. A way for me to study the natives as to understand and blend in with them once I became of age to carry on my true purpose. I didn't really care for causing chaos amongst them once I reached Gaia. I only aimed to leave Terra and to explore the world that would soon be forgotten.

I was unaccustomed to the airship that father frequented. Nightmares of the airship plagued me in my younger years as I watched my father tinker with the it. A chilled feeling would always follow as I stared into the seemingly sentient airship. It gave off an uncomfortable feeling akin to one of those creatures in the castle draining away at the life of the weaker inferior beings. Terra's emblem was proudly displayed on the ruby underside, illuminating me in an intense light that transferred my entire being onto the deck of the Invincible. This was my first time inside of the airship and though I would never like to admit it to father, the act of teleportation nauseated me.

He did not accompany me aboard the airship, but he had directed the airship to a set destination. I felt unease at this still. The unfamiliar territory and the faux feeling of independence. It was comforting, just as comforting as the radiant red light of the moon of Terra. I was predisposed to be uncomfortable when bathed in the blue light. Preordained. Programmed like this airship. Unable to change unless bending to the whims of the creator. I furrowed my brow, mildly discontent with the knowledge that my fate has been decided by birth.

Father had two other genomes accompany me to act as my guardians. They were physically more capable than I to handle any matters that I would run into given that my body was made under much different circumstances than theirs. I sat alone on the deck, watching as we departed from the only world that I had known and ventured into the new world. The other two were unfazed when we transferred to Gaia and paid no heed to my state of nausea. Bright lights entered the room, illuminating the deck with a blinding quickness. I turned away and I noticed the look of discomfort that graced the features of my unknown siblings. I had taken solace in knowing that they still had some form of feeling behind their blank facade, though it would have been better if they showed an emotion other than discomfort.

After the initial discomfort of the blinding light, I ran towards the front of the airship and peered out into my temporary home. All I could see was water, but it was still not unlike the water that I had grown accustomed to back on Terra. This water wasn't stagnant, nor was it clear. The sun had shone brightly upon the waters and if I wasn't mistaken there was tiny little monsters coming from out of the waters. My companions didn't share the same incredulousness that I did. They sat still, watching my every move and reminding me that they shall pick me up should I come into any danger. It was a reminder that while on Gaia, I was still tied to my Terran roots and that I shan't forget that.

The sun was setting and the airship was not slowing. This trip to Gaia took longer than I had anticipated. This world was unique to me and even the setting of the sun was a brand new experience. In Terra, time had effectually stood still. There was no concept of day and night and only recently had I learned of the sun from the books that I had read. It was still a sight to behold, watching the colors that appeared at the behest of the sun. The unfamiliar softer shades of red that were foreign to me. Whereas Bran Bal was forever still in a crystalline blue and Pandemonium darkened by the blood red glow of Terra, Gaia stood in stark contrast. Forever changing at all times. Nothing stood still on this planet. Not the water, not the organisms, not the winds, even the stars themselves never stagnated. Was Terra ever like this? Is Terra standing still... waiting for me? Maybe this is the world that Terra would become.

It was nightfall once we touched down onto land. My fellow genomes told me that I was to begin my journey tomorrow morning for it was dangerous out alone in the dark. I was too anxious to sleep, however, and the other two deemed it unnecessary for them to rest at this point. I couldn't fault them for that. There is no such thing as night in Terra and sleep during a designated time is even less common. Sleep to us is just an affliction brought on by fatigue. I suppose Gaians also view sleep as the same thing, but they are more prone to designating a certain time for when sleep is appropriate. Or at least that's what is indicative in my studies of Gaia.

My curiosity would be the death of me I believe. I assured my guardians that I would be cautious and ventured atop the Invincible. My eyes widened at my environment. Around me was a completely new land that was in no way similar to Terra. Gaia smelled... different. I couldn't pin point the difference in the aroma, but Gaia was rich with smells. I know it's silly for me to describe smells of all things, but back home, my true home, there was a sort of absence of smell. Over here it smelled of life and each life had it's own distinct aroma. Not only that, but the flora and monsters that roamed the area varied greatly from each other. Everything was so haphazardly created like it was some ill-begotten accident. Unlike the order and precision of Terra, Gaia was unruly and unkempt. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

The sky itself was cause for my astonishment. During the day, the sky much resembled home but during the night two moons hovered over the world in darkness and black sky is dotted with small bright stars. I had heard of the red moon of Terra, but with the failed fusion I have never bared witness to it. I have never seen the stars outside of my stories and imagination. They weren't particularly as amazing as what I had imagined, but they were still a beautiful sight to complement the darkness of the sky. The moon, my moon, looked like a dark omen. A blood red demon ready to swallow those who dared gazed too long at it. It unnerved me how little love I shared with Terra's moon. I could not shake this feeling that the moon itself knew that my hands would also share the same hue as itself. Meanwhile the Gaian moon looked so serene. So unaware that its killer was staring right at it from beneath it.

The wind blew whistled throughout the night, blowing my blonde locks into my face. I turned around, seeing my guardians looking at me with an apathetic expression towards the wind. It frustrated me that though I may be older than them in years, they still were physically and I suppose mentally older than me and did not share the same child like sentiment that I did. My face had softened at the outstretched hand that one of the genomes had towards the wind as if testing the waters, so to speak.

"Do you know what that is?" I asked the genome light-heartedly.

"Magic? We have seen you conjure such things young master. Perhaps the Gaians use a primitive form." I scrunched my face at that answer, not satisfied with their stiff manner of speaking.

"Perhaps, but then who would be conjuring the winds? The planet? And call me by my name, Kuja."

"Names serve no purpose young master as they are mere identifiers and we can already identify you as the young master."

I turned away from the genome and refused to respond to him. I could not fathom that they so readily accept what they were being told to do and to think. It is this same single minded thinking that father wanted from me, but also viewed as an overall weakness. Quite the paradox trying to balance the two thought processes. I was no better than these two though. Forever tied in my fate to my home planet and unable to pursue and venture out. I was akin to that of a caged canary, unable to spread my wings, unable to choose, and unable to reach beyond what is placed in front of me.

Beyond checking that I was physically prepared to trek out beyond the airship, the two genomes whom remained both nameless and generally invisible to me had ignored my dour disposition and once again made sure that I knew what exactly I was to be doing. They had given me a map of Gaia and whilst father had kept a close watch on the planet, his map had been relatively out of date. The map was noticeably weathered and the edges frayed towards the end. The ink was faded in many parts of the map and several of the words written were illegible.

The areas that he had marked for me to visit were geographically misplaced, at least from what I have read from Gaian text that father had appropriated from the genomes he had used to scout for information. It was a bit odd for a man that was so precise and accurate with his planning. It almost seemed deliberate for him to have given me misleading information. I suppose anyone else in my position would think nothing of it, but father was the type of man to painstakingly go over every second of one his plans. Beyond the curious age of the map, there was the small detail that caught my eye. There were obvious Terran markings on the map and scattered throughout the world with a small handful located in what is currently the Mist continent. Did father want me to visit these areas as well? I pursed my lips at the mental manipulation and discarded the thought that father was subtly suggesting such a thing. Surely he didn't mean that as he gave me strict instructions to observe the people of Gaia.

What he had marked as Lindblum and our current location was off by several miles. The genomes, which I have decided long ago that I cannot stand that label, did not allow for us to move the airship closer to where Lindblum was actually located and remained rigid in their orders.

The morning had came without warning. I was still unused to the idea of morning, night, and a regular sleep cycle. It was a foreign concept on Terra, at least it was a foreign concept on this incarnation of Terra. I was about to embark on my first foray into a new world. Sun shining in my face, my blonde locks billowing in the wind, the tall blades of grass grazing upon my legs. Taking a deep breath, I began to walk away from the airship. In my mind, the best plan of action was to identify a land mark and proceed from there. I was still unsure of how to navigate around the world and though I was promised to be a powerful being, my body was still underdeveloped in terms of my potential power.

I couldn't afford to waste time and admire the beauty that was Gaia, the wild flora that peppered the fields, the clouds that blanketed the skies, or the mountainous regions in the far off distance. This was still a very dangerous planet and father had instilled caution to the ever pervading mist that he had infest the Gaian lands. The mist didn't seem that ominous and for all the dangers that father had told me of it, the mist gave off this empowering feeling. I felt more naturally inclined towards the mist than I did on Terra, to which I felt I could attribute to the contents of the mist as opposed to the emptiness of Terra.

As I began to walk I noticed in the distance an area home to an ancient eidolon that roamed the wilderness of the former Lindblum. What I had learned in my studies was that the area was uninhabitable. Well, it wasn't uninhabitable, but the rocky terrain and shaky foundation made for a poor support for the original Lindblum and it forced the regent at the time to relocate west. There was also an old legend in one of my books of an irritable eidolon whom did not take kindly to the intrusion of the founders of Lindblum. My other history books contradict the legend by stating that the area was just a poor site for establishing a city on. But based on all that, my destination was clear. I would head west and with the sun still high in the sky, there was more than enough time to find myself some lodging should I make quick strides.

I would quickly learn that traversing across the lands was much more difficult than just thinking about it. My legs were short and I had underestimated the distance from the ship to Lindblum and overestimated my ability to travel. I ran for a bit in the beginning, but my stamina was still severely low. My breath was heavy and my knapsack weighed down on me while walking. It was times like this that I cursed my weak constitution. Father had assured me time and time again that as I grew older that I would be physically more capable, but for now I had to rely strictly on my magic. That was something that I did not lack, a strong affinity in magic and a strong mind prepared through rigorous study. Hopefully father was not observing me, he strictly forbade me from using my magic. I'm sure that as long as no civilized being saw me using magic it would be fine, but it was still not a good idea to upset father.

Being the only one carrying my equipment and supplies, I was forced to prepare camp earlier than I expected. My day was delayed heavily by my lack of stamina and the various other creatures that occasionally confronted me. There were times when I could simply retreat from the creature and hope that it would simply give up on attacking me, but more often than not I was forced to expend energy and time defending myself. Though for the majority of the day, I was fortunate enough to be able to flee from the monsters. Many of them passively ignored me and others who had attacked me soon forgot me once I was a good distance away.

The first creature, or creatures, that I encountered and was forced to fight was a small party of goblins. I regret not using my training in swordsmanship to fight these low intelligent beings. It felt almost natural and fluid for me to be conjuring spells, as if I had a predisposition to it. My curiosity also worked against me as I was unsure of the full potential of my magic and had wasted an enormously superfluous amount of energy dispatching the goblins.

The feeling of unleashing my full range of magic was indescribable. I stood betwixt a party of goblins, ethereal flames dancing across the field and consuming everything around me. The smell of burning flesh permeated the air. And there I was, a small child in the middle of a burning field and glowing embers emanating from the ground around me. My eyes glossed over the destruction for which I was responsible and for the first time in my life I had felt almost superior as being. It was a satisfying feeling that almost validated my existence. I looked towards the sky, the Terran moon hovering over me, and took in that I would do the same to this planet... burning it to ashes. It was both a surreal and frightening feeling. There was uncertainty in how I should respond to this. I was glad that my strength was finally confirmed, but at the same time I hated the smell of burnt flesh. They were lowly monsters and it was in self defense that I killed them. If I were to meet a violent confrontation with another creature that can reason, would I react the same way?

I laid in my tent, my head swirling with multiple questions and no answers to them. Am I no better than a monster in the field? I was intelligent yes, but I did what I was told and no amount of reasoning changed the fact that my mission was set. My destiny, there was no changing it was there? I lamented that my best contribution in my lifetime would essentially be as a warlord. I can no longer think of these things, at least for now. I should enjoy my time on this planet whilst I still can.

Goodnight,

Kuja Tribal


End file.
